Wednesday, July 12, 2006
you broke my heart.
you broke my heart so badly that i can hardly think of anything else
it was not only my heart that was broken
it was not only the many who really cared for you
whose heart was broken
but also,
daddy's heart was broken.
*****
while u enjoy it,
behind it were tears shed for you
behind it were people who worried for you
behind it were people who cared for you
behind it were people who truely love you
a destiny at risk
a life at risk
a sister at risk
a friend at risk
a loved one at risk.
*****
you really have no idea how much i love you
and how much u matter to me
every thought of you
takes an effort,
a struggle
to hold back my tears
love is not just a simple'i love you' spoken by lips
love is sacred
love is unconditional
love is everlasting
love is shown by small and simple actions
which you have failed to seen
yet you would go for 'i love you' spoken by lips
in which you would regret in weeks, months and years to come
*****
it was not only a stab in my heart
it was not only a stab in my back
it was not only the stabs u all gave all around me
just to cover up for everything
in fact i knew it long ago
it was the stab you gave your own father after telling him u love him...
dont take him for granted
he is not a spare tyre
use me if you want
not my daddy
*****
hearing the song 'a heart after you'
as i type this
just started to piece my heart back together
u have just shown me how important he is to me
u have just shown me how much i love him
u have just shown me how much i need him
u have just shown me how imporatant this race is
*****
she is right.
everything will work out fine.
through this
u will see.
u will see who are your true friends
you will see who really loves you
and you will see that your one and only daddy still loves you
because his love is unconditional...
and i still love you...
i love you..
i love you..
i love you..
Monday, July 10, 2006
life has been like a chionging train
it couldnt go slower
but yet started accelerating at a even faster pace
just recently i have caught onto the church buzz
it is tiring at the end of the day,
but there is a form of satisfaction each day
and hapiness beyond explanation rising up till it cannot be contained.
i could neva have done this on my own
i do not have that ability nor strength
only because of him i can do it.=)
once again i love you daddy, and this are form of actions to show my love.=)
being in guestroom allows me to really get close to pastors and leaders
and i am real forturnate
these people are just amazing people
i feel much love =)
being in cafe also allowed me to learn how to make decisions
i have always lived around peoples decisions.
but now i have learned
though i am getting descipled so much recently,
it really builds me up,
teaching me how to face situations that i have never encoutered before.
it does affect me someway or another
but well i gotta learn from it yeah?!=)
just todae my teacher saw me and she said i look like a panda
well... its ok...
coze it is all worthwhile.
heaven and hell. lives changes. i will do it. i will see it come to past. because i love you. because i love them.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
heyo!!
hahah!! i am back!!
lalalal!!!
i have been so busy recently
school has been like a speeding train
speeding real quickly...
rushing datelines for movie reviews projects and all...
though they are not those big projects like those in poly,
but ya!!
so many already!!! and so many more!!
lalala!!! anywayz... todae i overslept AGAIN!!
i cant stand it!!
i got to kick of this habit...
hmm... but today is a good day!!
i was late for a reason yeh??
as i was flagging for a cab,
there were empty caps which just pass by me and didnt want to pick me up
i really cant stand those taxi drivers
but anyway... i am secretly thanking them now,
as i was praying for a cab,
this caab finally came and
i met this taxi driver...
ever since i read jamie's blog on the cabby uncle,
i decided to make something out of my taxi trips when i am not caught up with something=)
so well... i started talking to the uncle and we slowly moved to the topic of christianity and church....
he wasnt much of a on-going christian but goes to church once in the while with his friends
he has two children one 3 and the other 5
he says that his wife wants to go to church but they all cant go because he had to work everyday and could not spare just a little bit of time just to come to church. well it twitches my heart to hear all this but wat is best is that i know i have added more water, sunlight and nutrients to the seedling that was planted.
besides that at the conference,
when the pastor was praying,
tears just started rolling down my cheeks
seeing everyone walk down two by two
i just felt two by two their destinies unveal...
thousands of them touched God their daddy!! yup
after that we proceeded to church for service...
i was really really tired before tat
but somehow i just had so much energy welling up!!
i am a happy girl
in my daddy's house....
i might not be able to put this memories into words
but this are ignited moments i will remember
FOR LIFE=)
use your heart and you will be able to feel and flow with it
LOVE YOU ALL!!=)
hahah!! i am back!!
lalalal!!!
i have been so busy recently
school has been like a speeding train
speeding real quickly...
rushing datelines for movie reviews projects and all...
though they are not those big projects like those in poly,
but ya!!
so many already!!! and so many more!!
lalala!!! anywayz... todae i overslept AGAIN!!
i cant stand it!!
i got to kick of this habit...
hmm... but today is a good day!!
i was late for a reason yeh??
as i was flagging for a cab,
there were empty caps which just pass by me and didnt want to pick me up
i really cant stand those taxi drivers
but anyway... i am secretly thanking them now,
as i was praying for a cab,
this caab finally came and
i met this taxi driver...
ever since i read jamie's blog on the cabby uncle,
i decided to make something out of my taxi trips when i am not caught up with something=)
so well... i started talking to the uncle and we slowly moved to the topic of christianity and church....
he wasnt much of a on-going christian but goes to church once in the while with his friends
he has two children one 3 and the other 5
he says that his wife wants to go to church but they all cant go because he had to work everyday and could not spare just a little bit of time just to come to church. well it twitches my heart to hear all this but wat is best is that i know i have added more water, sunlight and nutrients to the seedling that was planted.
besides that at the conference,
when the pastor was praying,
tears just started rolling down my cheeks
seeing everyone walk down two by two
i just felt two by two their destinies unveal...
thousands of them touched God their daddy!! yup
after that we proceeded to church for service...
i was really really tired before tat
but somehow i just had so much energy welling up!!
i am a happy girl
in my daddy's house....
i might not be able to put this memories into words
but this are ignited moments i will remember
FOR LIFE=)
use your heart and you will be able to feel and flow with it
LOVE YOU ALL!!=)